RSS

In My Head

12 Aug

I think I am trying too hard today.

I think I will try to not try so hard.

Should I try to not try at all or try to try a little less?

How much trying is too much? How much is too little? I want to try to get this trying thing just right.

I want to try to figure out the signs that I am trying too much or too little.

I want to try to perceive things correctly.

I want to try to understand why all my efforts to not try too much or too little appear to be fruitless.

I want to try to do all of this without trying.

I think I should try to keep my head from exploding.

Maybe I should try to give up trying.

I think I will try that for a while.

Should I try to give up completely or just a little?

I will try to figure out how much giving up is just right.

Then I will try to give up just that amount.

Maybe I should try to create total silence inside my mind.

If I try really hard will my mind be totally quiet?

Or does quieting the mind require trying less?

Maybe I should try to let go completely.

If I let go does that mean I have to stop trying altogether?

How do I try to stop trying altogether?

Maybe I need to try to stop this chatter.

How do I try to stop this chatter?

I think I am trying too hard to stop this chatter.

I think I am starting to lose my mind.

I think I should try to start praying.

I will start now:

Dear God.

Is that an OK way to begin? Of course it’s OK.

Dear God, I humbly ask you…

Should I say ‘beseech’. Aren’t you supposed to say ‘beseech’ in a prayer?

Does it matter?

OK, Dear God, I humbly beseech you to…

What am I asking for?

Now I’m stuck.

Help!

That’s it.

Dear God, I need help.

Please help me.

Advertisements
 
1 Comment

Posted by on August 12, 2011 in Recovery Journal

 

One response to “In My Head

  1. Janet Hulstrand

    August 12, 2011 at 10:59 pm

    I think you got it down to the essential. And it will work! It will…xoxoxo

     

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: