Stolen Flowers…And Other Red Flags

16 Oct

There’s been a lot of buzz lately about how to detect a date who’s “Not That Into YOU”.

What about routing out a Romeo whom “YOU Should Not Be Into” ?

We don’t hear as much about that.

Can you decipher the dinging of bad-date warning bells? How about a bunch of red banners flapping wildly before your eyes?

To help you out, here are Ten Toro-genic Flaming Flags from my very own Lousy Love Life archives. I ignored every single one of them. I hope you won’t do the same with your romantic radar.


1)Brought me flowers stolen from my neighbors’ gardens.

2)Said he was “expecting a blonde.”

3)Referred in an email to “tying me up.”

4)Told me lots of interesting stuff about his wife.

5)Walked in carrying a guitar, sat down, closed his eyes and sang horribly to himself.

6)Took me to hear a female rock star and then attempted to put the moves on her.

7)Was always deep in his cups.

8)Was unbearable unless I was deeper in my cups.

9)Frightened me to death with:

A)His Driving

B)His Temper

C)His Drinking

D)His Bad Tempered Drunk Driving

10)Invited me, and his steady girlfriend, to the same club on the same night, while lying to both of us about each other. I wondered why his “colleague” was wearing a hoochie mama dress and why he said he was suffering from a “rare and painful neurological disorder” that made it impossible for us to hold hands or even stand close to one another.

I wondered but I never spotted the flag. Or the bull.

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Posted by on October 16, 2010 in Essays, Oops I Dated Again


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