Muffin Top, Bottom Price

05 Oct

My life is in transition. The economy is dodgy. I’ve decided it’s time for a rummage sale.

I’ve been combing through my closets, browsing in my basement and watching back-to-back episodes of  “Hoarders” for inspiration.

I’ve also been thinking about some things I would love to sell if there were a market for them. Here are my top ten choices:

1)My love handles and muffin top.

2)I have an exquisite collection of complaints, suitable for framing.

3)Childhood baggage in every shape, size and color.

4)Snappy comebacks for all occasions. I’d rather sell them than say them.

5) My over-active imagination. I have plenty to spare.

6)Sobriety must be worth something. Could I sell space on my wagon?

7)Overblown hopes and expectations. It’s time to pass those down to someone younger.

8)My manifesto, complete or in parts, on what would happen If I Ruled the World.

9)The companion manifesto containing all of my wild and crazy ideas for businesses, products, religions, fashion crazes, political systems, criminal justice solutions, and personal advice for celebrities.

10)The complete unabridged never before seen compendium of all of my unwanted opinions, unsolicited advice, dubious theories, neurotic assumptions, paranoid resentments, bad decisions, evil thoughts, vanity and jealousy, dreams of stardom, selfishness, and all the other negative character traits that I am waiting for my Higher Power to remove. Forget selling. I will GIVE those away.


4 responses to “Muffin Top, Bottom Price

  1. Helen Murray

    October 6, 2010 at 12:21 am

    I love your way with words…you are a great writer.

    • mariehelene56

      October 6, 2010 at 2:04 am

      Oh Helen, thank you so much. You are too kind. I am thrilled when my friends enjoy my writing. I do like to be entertaining or helpful to my loved ones whenever possible. Hope all is well with you. It was grand seeing you and your mom. Let’s do it again soon. I’ll be in New York several times over the next month or so so maybe we can arrange something. Love and Hugs, Mary Ellin

  2. emmet

    October 6, 2010 at 3:12 pm

    Dear Mary-Ellin,

    Great writing and really your list shows great promise that there is lots of material in storage for more writing. Do not hoard it all off. I would love some touching and funny stories inspired especially from n°2, 5, 8,9 and 10. Imagine all the wonderful characters you could conceive of and the funny situations you could come up with. Thank you for uplifting our spirits, making us laugh on life, its shortcomings and our shortcomings.

    Lot’s of love from rainy Paris (I’m off to see the latest Woody Allen to prolong the smile that your blog put on my face).


    • mariehelene56

      October 7, 2010 at 12:41 am

      Thanks so much dear Caroline for being such a loving and loyal reader of this blog. You are an inspiration to me. Hope you enjoy Woody. I’m about to head down to see if I can find a good movie on TV, after an intense day of writing (new post on my blog). Love and hugs, Mary Ellin


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